domingo, setembro 24, 2006

A primeira masturbação...




Bate leve, levemente como quem chama por mim... Será a Xana? Será a Cátia? A Cátia não é certamente...
Se o estimado leitor for sensível a tal tema, peço delicadamente a sua saída do blog..
Senhores, como se trata de um assunto delicado, tomei a liberdade de me informar juntamente com especialistas e de ler eu próprio alguns assuntos em redor da masturbação, a fim de vos poder proporcionar maior informação para divulgar aos vossos futuros filhos e quem sabe.
No que toca ao feminino, este assunto remete-se a algo bastante pessoal e íntimo , em que uma mão(bastante matreira, conste-se) explora os confins da cuequinha "victoria's secret" para as mais requintadas, para a cuequinha da "Floribella" para as mais caseiras e para a cuequinha da "Sport"para as mais rudes. "com que objectivo?" - equaciona o(a) curioso(a) leitor(a)
O prazer, será certamente o principal objectivo. A D. Clitóris, o meio para aceder ao prazer.
No meio social , a comunidade feminina não divulga tal tema com tanta facilidade, guardando para si o encanto que foi tal noite.
No que toca à parte masculina, o assunto é já bem diferente...( riem-se os homens)
Pois bem, qual másculo acabado de entrar na puberdade ou alguns anos após, nunca indubitavelmente, baixou as calças ao enquadrar-se num cenário cativante?
Falando no geral, 12 / 13 anos acabados de fazer, a avó saiu de casa para ir ao mercado comprar fruta, o pai e a mãe encontram-se a trabalhar arduamente , o telefone encontra-se desligado, a empregada foi exercer uma atitude dialéctica junto da vizinha, cujo marido ainda lhe espanca, o sofá está bem quentinho, o cinto bem desapertado, a braguilha de boca aberta, fazendo parte do seu gnosiológico , que algo bem forte poderá estar a vir. As mãos tremem, as primeiras pingas de suor jazem pela cara estremecida, mas eis que a televisão aclama pela nossa atenção: A actriz pornográfica, parou de imediato de exercer o sexo oral, preparando-se para "levar por trás"
" É AGORA, CAR...." - Pensa o excitado telespectador. A actriz solta um abafado : " Por detrás no es pecadooo... "
E aqui começa a festa. A bandeira a meia haste, fora dos boxers, a mão num movimento cima-baixo constante, as pernas esticam, o telespectador faz inúmeras caras de parvo, ora pondo a língua de fora, ora arregalando os olhos, ora imitando o actor porno e eis que toda a testosterona é solta para fora, procurando o telespectador( ou porco) , limpar as mãos as calças , e para os "Punheteiros" o ecrã da televisão e a cara.
- JORGE NÉLSON!!! Grita a avó acabada de chegar, visivelmente transtornada , largando as maçãs, pêras e bananas , reconciliando a sua imperecibilidade com a subsistência da sua alma, resultando num autêntico "trabalho de vestuário ", feito pelo nosso Jorge. Veste-se ele em 5 segundos, soltando um " - Ai vó, que susto, porra!! Tava aqui a coçar uma borbulha...ssss "
O acto de masturbação , poderá ter dois fins. Ou se usufrui ao máximo do prazer proporcionado, ou se é apanhado "em flagrante com a bandeira na mão".
Considera-se uma dicotomia Masculino /Feminino, relativamente a este assunto.
Po exemplo: as mulheres raramente falam acerca da masturbação, como já foi referido..
Nos homens, por vezes existem competições relativamente à "cuspidela" que sai, ás vezes em que o fazem , onde o fazem...
Sendo eticamente neutro , fazendo parte da comunidade científica, posso indicar-vos que a masturbação é um acto totalmente natural e corpóreo, onde até se prevêem inclusivamente vantagens , nomeadamente na prevenção de cancros de próstata, devido a canceroninas, e toxinas expelidas.
Deixo-vos com um conselho: "Lavem as mãos depois de o fazer .. EHE "

Sem mais ... Uma saca de ovos moles para o Jorge Nélson

Desta vossa redacção

Caravalho - a cantar desde 2005

33 Comments:

At 5:03 da tarde, Blogger GoLdShOt said...

Ai o Joge Nelson, esse rapaz anda em busca de imagem de contexto sexual explicito nesses canais 18, então o rapaz com a avó prestes a chegar a casa põem-se nessas posições de cariz pouco correcto, o acto de masturbação em si consiste num aprofundamento de conhecimentos ao nível do corpo.
Estes comportamentos são para ter num clima mais privado e não esperando que a empregada o apanhe ou que a avó veja o nosso caro amigo naquela posição. Agora a questão de ele se vestir em 5 segundos acho que devia ser aprofundada pelo nosso Jorge Nelson, porque isto de um gajo se vestir em 5 segundos é muito dificil de bater (o recorde não é o que vocês estão a pensar, suas mentes depravadas), eu acho que o rapaz devia entrar no livro do guiness. Fiquem bem ai nessa redacção do Caralho....err....Caravalho.
Keep it up

 
At 5:19 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Eu diria que o tema é considerado tabu por muito boa gente, e ainda assim a redacção deste blog corajosamente aborda o tópico em questão.
Creio que situações como a do Jorge Nélson só acontecem do lado masculino, tal como a eventualidade de surgir uma competição entre rapazes a fim de saber como se processa o acto com cada um (é o tal espírito de competição saudável intrínseco à grande maioria dos rapazes).
Sem muito para acrescentar ao novo post, encorajo o blog a continuar o seu serviço.

 
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At 6:02 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

curto à barva o blog...
quem ja nao teve no lugar do jorge nelson??
ate da caimbrãs!
xD
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At 6:20 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Ta demais...tavas mt inspirado xD

Teu blog ta 5 estrelas...abraço @

 
At 7:18 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Do belo.....Tava demais este post xD
Mesmo....é pa continuar Caravalho.
Abraxos

 
At 9:08 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Rapaz de pouca esperteza esse tal Jorge Nélson.

Mais uma vez este blog, sem medos e sem adornos, fala de temas tabu da nossa sociedade. É preciso esclarecer! É preciso conhecer! É preciso falar! É preciso discutir!

Continuem no vosso já (longo) bom caminho

 
At 1:53 da manhã, Anonymous Anónimo said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL... Donde veio a inspiraçao? deve ter sido do fode-me.com ou do conas.pt.. lol.. eh isso mm 5 contra 1 eh k rulla.. lol

 
At 8:20 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Grande Jorge Nelson xD

apanhado pla avó deve ser mesmo muito mau! xD

grande blog este mm!
de partir o côcô a rir e mm assim conseguem abordar assuntos do quotidiano d mts nos xD

eu aposto e k a inspiraçao veio da novel "jura" ou do forum "cupa-mos" xD

abraço e força aí k o Caravalho ta no bom caminho! [[]]

 
At 10:19 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

HHHHHhhAAAAAhahaa... loooool
Onde isto já vai..!! lol Já n há intemidades!?
Quanto ao tema da masturbação em mulhers, eu confesso que so me apercebi que elas o faziam quando fiz os meus 16 anos. Até essa altura eu pensava que era um acto exclusivamente masculino..
Mas pronto.. depois vieram as ferias e os "jogos de verdades e consequencias".. sao "jogos" muito informativos! lol
Ta altamente este post.. Sempre a frente =)

 
At 10:38 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

Potente.
O gajo la da escola de conducao é que devia ler isto. Nao deve fazer mais nada.
Abraco

 
At 10:42 da tarde, Blogger Zé Malone said...

...

entao bastos olhou para cima e contemplou algo que pensava apenas ser um mito... lá estava Zé Malone, estendedo-lhe a mão e levantando-o como se lhe estivesse a dar uma nova opurtinadade na vida...

fica aqui explicado a razão do bastos ser um homem iluminado pelo sentido de humor... quanto ao post



não me pronuncio...
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At 11:45 da tarde, Anonymous Anónimo said...

O que acontece é o seguinte: já não há respeito pelas bolinhas! E passo a explicar... Veja-se o dito Jorge Nélson (Joné, provavelmente ainda, para a pobre da avó), tão novinho, que de tão mal educado que foi resolveu ir ver canais que sabia perfeitamente não serem para a idade. 'Tá maaaaale! Das duas uma, ou o Joné viu a bolinha e não ligou ou então o filme nem bolinha tinha! O desrespeito total! Mas há que ver que se ninguém desrespeitasse tais bolinhas, também ninguém exercitava as próprias, e perdia-se esta fantástica experiência que é a primeira pu... masturbação! É um ciclo perigosamente vicioso...

P.S. Parabéns, aí, pelo blog. 'Tá excelente! =D

 
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